In my zombie apocalypse survivor community

I love my husband.  I mean, he's the best thing and I know no one could ever get me more.  He supports me, he is the better spouse in a hundred ways, and he's smart and attractive and a great dad.... and he engages in my crazy conversations.  Tonight, I came home in a funk. Bad fight with a co worker, boss's stress, etc.   but after I out baby to bed and had some wine, I started talking about conflict resolution in a small closed society? Such as in a post apocalyptic world.
Thoughts on this began to develop from several areas.  First, Walking Dead.  How will these survivors handle criminals in the long run? Are humans destined to be classist?  Etc.  next, watching the Jodi Arias trial and wondering if juries are so easily dissuaded by sideshow antics?  And third, all this senate discussion on vawa.  Jury trials seem like they are not the answer, but the best we have.  Derived from a system that in most ways is gone now.  Who are our peers? What is prejudicial? Etc.  it's so convoluted.   Anyway jorge and I had a good meaningless discussion on this totally abstract and irrelevant topic tonight and it makes me remember why I love my smart and creative and thoughtful husband. He's just fun.  Not everyone would want to have this nerdy talk with me but I needed to get my mind off my day. It worked.
We decided my value to the community is relatively slim.  I'm essentially blind. Past effective child bearing age, wet nursing is probably not likely, and my skills seem to be lawyering and other bullshit genre. Scary. I should learn how to sew or something soon

Three Years used to seem like a long time

Wow, it must be the New Year that drives me to post. I havent posted since the beginning of 2009. I've been kinda busy.

Right after that Christmas in 2008, I found out I was pregnant. It was a big adjustment. Miss Olivia Lynn joined our team in August 2009. She is simply awesome. And now, in January 2012, I am five months pregnant with our second baby girl. At 37, I am really grateful we finally entered this parenting game. Come May, we hope to have baby Lola safe and sound here at home with us.

We are in a new home. Turns out our little historical home in Central Phoenix was a bust. We ended up underwater, like everyone who bought in the housing bubble, and had to let it go. we got lucky and got a bigger nice home with a pool in Biltmore area. Ive been fixing it up to be exactly how I want it.

Its funny, in 2009, the things that consumed me. Surely not worrying about whether or not I was a bad mom because my two year and four month old still uses apacifier when she goes to bed. I didnt feel pains in my heart everyday as I drove off to work after leaving my child at the safe and wonderful daycare she goes too. Im pretty sure my idea of a perfect day wasnt getting manis/pedis with my curly topped chatterbox, and having a picnic in the grass singing "The more we get together".

Its really a cliche I know, but Im glad its mine to know. And so do all of my friends. Everyone has their babies, two or three... its good times.

Today I accepted a new job, after seven years as the Chief Pros. I'll be more directly working in Child abuse, and feel that its truly my calling. I am excited for the change. And its just right next door and with the same tribe, so all is going well there.

I have lots of things to write about. Like why Facebook can never feel like blogging. And why i miss my grandparents. And why I get so nervous to let people I love and respect know about my atheist tendencies. Why is that like a dirty little secret? its not catholic guilt... and my constant inability to understand mothers who abandon their children for men.

So here I am, knowing a whole lot more...signing off so i can hush my toddler and her singing tea pot so as not to wake her dad. She said "see you tomorrow Dad!" as she helped her self to an ice cream cup out of the freezer. hopefully this blogging thing will find me again, especailly as i move into a less stressful job.

Another year

Today starts 2009!  I'm so happy it will begin with four whole days off work.  I need to start out my work year next week refreshed and rejuvenated.   Lots to accomplish and not feeling motivated about it. 

We celebrated the end of 2008 with the Reddys.  We had only seen them once since little Drew was born.  What a gorgeous little boy!  Suri is the cutest dad.  We went to Indian food, and were fast asleep by 10 pm.  Thats perfect.

   Our Christmas in Oregon was amazing, and we got to have a great time with family.  Justin and Miry and Garrett and Jami came out for a night at Edgefield, even with all the snow.  A very nice time, never enough time though.   Christmas Tea at the Heathman was a highlight too.  Just me, Mom and Bren.  

This past year was really good.  I can't complain.  Good travels, good friends, good health...cant ask for more.  Change has been good for so many of our close friends.  Many welcomed babies this year, and its so nice to see all the happy little families.  Having Wy in our family made Christmas all the more special.  He's just too cute and fun.  Of course, there has been some unfortunate events, primarily with the economy laying a smackdown on everyone.  A few people losing jobs, and thats awful.  Hopefully, things will turn around this year!

My dad was able to come and visit for ten days.  It was nice.  He is still dad, with his random acts of crazy, but he made us yummy dinners and helped me with a Christmas party.  He seems good.  I miss him.  

We are training for the half marathon again.  Not as devoted to the training as I would like to be.  But its coming along.  Wish us luck! less than three weeks to 13.1!

Im currently in the process of finishing decorating my bedrooms.  New paint, etc.  New closets coming.  Im slow about it, but I really like making my house my own.  I adore my little house on 8th street.  It survived some big winds this year.  

In 2009, I am hoping to have many new experiences with the people I love.  El G and I are looking to plan some more travel.  Im tempted to return to Paris, I am intrigued by Argentina, and I can always be talked into a few days in Mexico.  We need a NYC weekend as well.   And then some short trips to the PNW.    we will see new babies from some close friends this year, and are expecting some visits from some of our missed friends.  

I wish all of you a very happy new year and may your 2009 bring your joy, luck, and happiness. 

Will you still love me? Will you still need me...when I'm...

THIRTY FOUR!  Holy crap. 

Its been forever and a day since I have posted.  And the sad excuse is literally a lack of time.  And a Facebook addiction.  I love Facebook though, since all of my relatives are online there and its really nice to keep in touch with all of them that way.  But it has taken away from my need to blog.  Also, we had a serious problem with our home computer, but now we have a new MacBook, and life is much improved.  (although, I don't recommend eating cherries with a white MacBook) For months, my internet access was limited to the five minutes I could jump on at work, and my blackberry.  But with Lu and Mandy blogging, I'm back to checking theirs, so here I am.  

Tomorrow is my 34th birthday, so Birthday week is in full effect.  My mom shipped me a box of fabulous fresh cherries.  How awesome is that!  Friday night, we had dinner with Suri and his very-pregnant wife at Havana Cafe, one of my favorites.  It was nice to see them, since with Suri, sometimes a lot of time can pass between visits.  But I think that's completely okay, and it takes time for a new spouse to gain trust with old friends.  She has been great, and I think Suri is so lucky to have her.   A baby in less than three weeks for them too!  Such a different Suri than the one I met and came to love six years ago.  Years FLY by.  I mean, it amazes me.  

Yesterday, I was co-hostess of a baby shower for another pregnant friend.  Doreen is due in three weeks as well.  It was a co-ed pool party, but very casual.  I found it super comfortable and relaxing.  Doreens husband is still "new" to me, but her family has been so welcoming and inclusive to me since I came to arizona ten years ago.  I love Indian people.  I love feeling like their house is my house, and not just in that polite "that's what people say" way.  I can never really put it into words, but it just is, and it makes sense to me.   Her nephew Aidan is the squishiest baby ever, and so easy-going.   Anyway, it was a good time and I'm so glad that i got to share in it.  Its weird when so many people I love and adore are so far away, and when we all have such limited time, I want to remember to appreciate the good times I am apart of. 

Today is brunch with El G.  We discovered that we have not really ever had brunch together.  So we are headed to Lon's.   I'm going to be traveling a lot in the next few weeks, so today should be nice.  I'm headed home to Brewfest Thursday, and then to Baltimore/DC next week for work and to visit with Ali and Mandy (and Everett!!!)    This month, I've already been to Laughlin (worst place on earth) and LA to visit the in-laws.  Its just a lot of travel this summer.

I'm excited to go home though.  I'm dying to see Wyatt.   Need to look in on pops.  Anyway, in addition to being really busy at work, I'm also still trying to run and Bikram Yoga.  I am quite the miserable one without my yoga.  El G and I took a nice trip to Cabo last month.    So we are working at enjoying time when we can.  Have I mentioned how great of a lawyer he is? I continue to be so impressed with that guy. 

  Gosh, having not blogged in forever, there's a million things I feel like writing about.  But, Brunch beckons.  Can I just say, turning 34 makes me feel a little weird about my whole life plan?  Yep.  I hate that stupid clock. 

I'm paying you for this????

So I know that the majority of my readers are in places much colder, wetter, and more miserable than what I have as a cold winter. (and by the majority of my readers, I mean the 4 of the 6 of you that are in Oregon, DC, and Colorado). But just because its Phoenix does not mean its warm in December. The highs are low 60s, but the nights are very chilly. Not anything to moan about unless of course you live in a non-energy efficient house that has cracks, gaps, and holes all over. Drafty is the best way to describe it. Which is why in the peak summer months the electric bill for my tiny little box of a home ranges from $200 to $300 a month.
So somewhere around Halloween, we decided the heat should be turned on in the morning or the evening, only to discover that the damn heat side of the unit isn't working. So today is Dec 15 and I've been living a snowman lifestyle. Admittedly, I'm not home much, but it freakin' cold in this place. Currently blogging along at a balmy 56 degrees in my house. The heating people are coming today. I hope they fix it as quickly as the electric guy handled my whole "lights out" problem. (Wednesday the electric went out in my kitchen, living room. And not that I need to cook or anything.. but relocating my toaster and coffee pot to the spare bedroom was just not very "adult" feeling, and felt like dorm life. besides, we missed tv and the Christmas tree needed lights) We had been outside and flipped all the fuses again and again to no avail. Although there was ONE that seemed flimsy and wouldn't catch. Duh! So we had to call a retired superhero from "Supercharged" Electric. It was amazing what he can do for only $55. He flips fuses, with apparently magic skill, and ta-da! Lights. Yes, my husband and I are morons. So when the heating dude shows up today, I'm pretty sure he's gonna find an equally simple issue. Pilot light? What's that? You know what heater dude? It really doesn't matter, just help a sister get some heat. I'm not very fun when I'm cold. and here's your $50. I'm tired of sleeping in layers and layers. The chimney guy is coming today too. We have never made a fire in our cool fireplace. Not only are we not really sure how to go about that, we aren't sure our chimney is clean or safe. We thought we should check. My dad was really annoyed at me for that. He indicated that fire-making is a primitive skill that two educated lawyers should be able to figure out. Well, he would be wrong. And it's expensive to be stupid. So there!

In addition to my troubles in keeping warm this month, I've had some other crosses to bear. I've been in the dental chair for an unprecedented amount of time. I mean, Four and a Half hours of straight work in one session, and two other sessions in the same month. It's been pretty horrible. On my last visit, I survived the chair only to get into the worst encounter with the office manager. She is one sadistic soul. As I'm swollen and bleeding and on the verge of tears and passing out, the woman demanded every dollar in my purse. I wish I was I kidding. I wish I wasn't convinced that she thought I was gonna skip out on the bill. But she wasn't going to let me leave the building until she recieved "my portion" of the payment not covered by insurance that instant. Which would have been FINE if she hadn't told me before the service it was $75.00. So when I advised that I only had $115.00 on me, and could call her from home with my credit card or could swing back by on my way to work in the morning for the remaining $100.00, and she freaked out and asked me what my problem was and why were these simple rules beyond comprehension for me, I was a little offended. She proceeded to explain that so often people fail to pay, that this is a clear policy. I reminded her that I was coming back to finish some work, so obviously that payment would not be an issue, besides the fact that I had already paid a ton of money, and simply was misinformed as to my estimate for the day, I was shocked when she implied I could not leave. Now, I'm proud of the strides I've made in leaving my instant ghetto attitude doesn't always rise up anymore. However, this woman really really challenged me. Unfortunately I know have to find a new dentist in the middle of a complicated treatment plan. All because of some miserable moron, who chose to go a little ape over nothing! It was kinda fun to fire her. The final straw was when she whispered to the dentist, in a complete non-discreet way, that the problem was a "financial issue". Of course, it absolutely was not. Mind you, I have had issues with being able to pay for dental care in my life. Thankfully I don't anymore! So for her to imply that was so offensive. I have to say I suspect that she had some beliefs about me based on my insurance. It happens to be from the reservation/tribe I work for, and this dentist is right near the rez, so a lot of people go to that dentist from the rez. I think that maybe some of them may have had payment issues so now she thinks all of us do! She was really weird about it. She also treated EL G like he couldn't speak English. Seriously, the woman was whack. Anyway...I'm looking for a new dentist.

I'm also hunting a new gyno. I had switched when the place I had gone for 4 years couldn't get me in for an annual for 8 - 10 months and that was on a waiting list. What a joke! So I chose a new one. My first concern was when they sent me the pre-packet for new patients it included an "Arbitration Agreement". Ummm... does that cause anyone concern? Meaning, if they jack me up and commit some form of malpractice, I elect not to sue them outright, but settle via a mediator. (Ok, not exactly, but close enough) I didn't sign it and I asked about it when I got there. I was informed it's not mandatory until I undergo any elective service. (????) That's shady because as an attorney I knew to ask. I'm guessing a lot of people don't and they therefore agree to this for all their treatment and then realize how hosed they are after they get jacked up and see an attorney. So what is elective? This Dr does all kinds of stuff to your vag if you want it. Plastic surgery to make it look nicer, lipo down there, re-attaching your hymen (I'm so not kidding) and permanent stoppage of your period via a laser that burns up a part of you. SO MIDDLE AGES TORTURE WITH LASERS! It kinda scared me. But you know what, I guess ugly vaginas need service somewhere. Who knew? Ok, the real reason I need a new one. During my exam, I was advised that I may have a brain tumor. !!!! Simple refresher course on anatomy people: your brain and your vagina are really not that near one another. So sticking a long cotton swab up a person's privates is not gonna really identify a brain tumor. Yet, this doc thinks she can. (ok, so she thinks that a tumor on the thyroid can cause certain issues that maybe can be identified in a vaginal exam...but still!) I've had this recurring non-serious issue for my whole life. People's bodies are different. I've been tested for a million things back in the day. No one has ever suggested a brain tumor. And I'm not going to let this hymen-sewing weirdo freak me out. Just keep to your vaginal beautification and leave the brain concerns to the brain docs. Right? Sheesh. (Ok, so what if I still went and got the blood test ....it couldn't hurt right? Not that I'm staying with Dr. Arbitration anyway!) I'm pretty sure I don't have the tumor, as no one has called and referred me to a neurosurgeon.
In addition, when I described a few months of abnormal symptoms of my cycle, such as such pain so bad I thought I was going to need to go to ER and barely being able to breathe... the caring doc made an annoyed face like I was an idiot, and said "well, why didn't you take something?...like Advil?" Oh really? I never thought of that! I'm a complete moron. Are you kidding me? Why did you ask me if my periods were normal? what was the appropriate answer from someone with a brain tumor? anyway, i love doctors.

Anyway, I've spent a lot of money this month and been put through a lot of pain and humiliation. I also have been on a round of antibiotics which prevented me from being able to partake in the sweet nectar of life, wine. For 9 days! And I so so needed it. But today, I have a license to indulge. Headed to a house party with good friends and a round of the Newlywed Game. Knows It All has some steam to let loose. Thanks for letting me vent.

Like a Record Baby

I've been spinning around and around lately. Never seem to be able to take the time and fire up this here computer box thing. I refuse to whine about work...just know it's busy. I feel like a I work way more than I used to. Other than that, there was the whole travel thing. Planning for Europe, getting work ready for the leave, coming back, coming back from vacation...etc. etc. It was tough. Then there was the trip of course! which was the best 13 consecutive days of my life! XOXO to Paris! Eleven days not thinking about work. It was like I had a new life. Eating great food, drinking wine, wandering around.. the whole experience was amazing. I am committed to doing that every other year.
So this fall was all Europe trip planning and the arrival of baby Wyatt! He is the best little nephew one could ask for. Baby sis is kicking butt as a mom and her and the little family are too sweet. I'm so stinking proud of them! We got to see them over Thanksgiving, and it wasn't enough time, but just enough to make me miss them even more!
El G and i are in training again for another half marathon. Which means running three nights a week and long runs on Sunday. So... that eats up so much of my little free time! I ve been sick twice in the last two months too.. so the free time thing has just been non-existent. Holiday season now, so we have a few parties and all that stuff... and then it will be our second anniversary and 2008 already! So many things to look forward to next year, including baby Scandlen and Pastor. Its so amazing how my circle of friends just multiplies! Its so cool. and I swear the DP club makes some beautiful mommies! Seriously, those chics are some seriously beautiful moms.
Laid Back and her man finally tied the knot last month... good times. I'm sure there will be mini-Souccars any time.
Secret Agent Man dad is visiting for two weeks at the end of the month and I can't wait. I miss him to pieces right now.
Wow... I miss blogging. I miss just writing down thoughts. I need to take time to do this a little more. But right now, my naked Christmas tree beckons. and a fevery husband...I knew it was too quiet around here!

Sometimes my brain scares me

For all the simple things it fails to remember or is unable to process, yes. But what really scares me is that part of my brain that seems to KNOW things that I don't understand how I could know. I'm not in any way psychic, but there are so many instances of where I think something and then...out of nowhere that thing turns out to be.

Like just the other day, I had a dream about a high school friend. In that dream, her and her older brother and I were hanging out doing simple stuff teenagers do. I used to spend a good deal of time with that family. I don't have the time or opportunity to talk to any of them much anymore, but it was a very intense dream, though nothing too much was happening. And then, the next day, she emails me, which is rare.

And last night, I had this random thought of a girl. A friend of a friend. I had been talking to El G about how I was once really offended when Dirtiest Man Alive said that but for me landingEl G, me and this skank are really not that far apart. Seriously, she's the biggest skank pathetic loser I currently know, and i have no idea what he could see in me that is anything close to her. Aside from age, dark hair, and the same career. Anyway, I digress. So skank came up in lunch talks yesterday. I remembered Dirtiest Man Alive's comment, and it made me think of another girl (not SKANK but another skank-type) have a similar friendship skank-type has with someone I'm friends with. I never think of her. EVER. And I started thinking of her for a while today and about how she and I have had similar experiences with a shared friend. I hope my experiences are not as simple as hers were, but I guess a part of me worries that i am as forgettable as she is. So then today, I see that out of nowhere she comes forward. Random since no one that I know of has heard from her in months, and then there she is. Just as I was thinking of her. I know this makes no sense, but it was like some part of me knew that the question I was asking myself needed to be answered. And so it is. So it causes me to reflect on my value. Don't try to understand this post. I don't even understand it.

So see? I'm not convinced that I can predict things. Sometimes I dream things about people who happen to be thinking of me, and then I'll hear from them. Or I dream of my friends or family and it will make me call them only to discover that they need a friend or some help. This stuff happens all the time. Not significant stuff. No Nostradamus level of stuff. Maybe I just need practice.

OK-- I think I need a nap. I'm not making any sense. ;)
But I'm back online. No promises. I've been crazy busy and have no time these days. But I do miss writing.

9 days to Europe.