The Walk of Shame, from the married woman of Phoenix

I always love seeing the girls in the cab lines in Vegas in the morning. Wearing what's left of last night's Vegas ho-gear, streaked mascara, bed-head. Creeping back to their hotel to rendezvous with their girls, having just left the bed of some lucky Midwesterner. I love watching them stare at the ground...check their voicemails, waver in their pumps that are clearly killing them. Extra points for the skankier ones who are in pantyhose. Any given morning in Vegas, these girls are out there in the taxi lines.

So last night, Miss Knows It All, who also talks way too much shit, got her Happy Hour on again. With this being race week, I've been trying to eat better and have been running light. Anyway, somehow this creates some weaker version of the Happy Hour girl you all love so much. Three beers knocked her on her butt. It was good times with a fun crew, but something aint right when you lose your lunch in the bathroom stall before 7 pm. High Class. El G is in the dark about that detail.

So I had to get a ride home. I probably wasn't drunk by the time we left, but better to be safe than sorry. Three Beers people. Who AM I? Anyway, luckily there were some rockin chicas along and they sorted me. Ended up at home without my car.

8 o'clock, Saturday morning, Einsteins on McDowell. I'm in a fleece pullover, hair in a ponytail, some cotton stretch pants, my face is clean, but no make-up. FLip-flops. While putting the Splenda in my coffee, I ask El G if we are going to get my car directly from here or if we are going back to the house to eat first.

"We'll go get your car right now...eat here."

I go sit down without looking back or responding. A minute later he sits down with the biggest grin on his face and is holding back a laugh. An older man in the coffee area overheard our little discussion and once I was out of earshot said, "Smart move...Smart move. Get her to her car and no reason for her to go back to your house." Wink and a big smile.

El G scored!!! He's getting rid of last night's hook-up! But he buys her coffee first. Of course, why would he correct some random old man who was proud of the young El G. El G simply said... "Yeah.." and came and sat down.

Good stuff. I guess I thought I looked pulled-together, but after a happy hour gone wrong, I guess you just wear it on your face like-it-or-not.