I think you already know all this.....
This is about how I feel. I love you so much. I have a faith in your goodness and your realness that I have only felt about my blood relatives. I accept you no matter what. I really accept anything about you, because I love you so much. And it's because you accept me like no one else ever has. Ever. I can tell you the ugly sides of me and you love me anyway.
You have been through a lot this year, so I refuse to say anything to you that may make you feel blue or scared. But maybe I should say something! I know that you know what I am thinking, and therefore, sometimes nothing needs to be said. But do you know that I only worry? I just don't want you to be hurt, disappointed, or disillusioned. That does not mean that that is what is going to happen, it is just what I worry for.
When you told me your news, I felt a lot of things. Shock, fear, happiness, and sadness. i can imagine you are all over the map too. In order to not say the wrong thing, I think I have said too much "nothing". I feel really guilty and crummy about it. I want to give you a big hug.
Most of all I do understand. I undersatnd this choice. I understand all the things you must feel about it. I understand if you feel like I am not being the best about all this. I am sorry. I feel your happiness and that is good. but is it okay if mine waits a little? I am happy that you are happy, I just need more convincing, but it's not about me. This is your choice and your life... and I know you can handle just about anything.
thanks for being the easiest and best friend I could ever ask for. Our perspectives may be quite different, and we may live far apart, but you are my heart in so many ways. PLease forgive me if I have not been what you have needed these last few weeks. Tell me what I can do. I can try to be there (literall, next Tuesday) , but it seems impossible and that makes me sick to my stomach. You said it was okay, but my heart wants to go. I feel so bad.
Anyway, thanks for everything this weekend. i hope you know you are my #1. I hope that you understand my reactions and thank you for accpeting me like a sister and letting me get away with the way we tell it to each other like it is, unless we really think it may be hurtful. I can't say this is going to be bad, I just can't say it's going to be good... and I think you deserve good. You know?
Your heart has learned a lot though, so maybe it knows better than anything. And no matter what happens, I am here and I love you unconditionally, and I always will!
You have been through a lot this year, so I refuse to say anything to you that may make you feel blue or scared. But maybe I should say something! I know that you know what I am thinking, and therefore, sometimes nothing needs to be said. But do you know that I only worry? I just don't want you to be hurt, disappointed, or disillusioned. That does not mean that that is what is going to happen, it is just what I worry for.
When you told me your news, I felt a lot of things. Shock, fear, happiness, and sadness. i can imagine you are all over the map too. In order to not say the wrong thing, I think I have said too much "nothing". I feel really guilty and crummy about it. I want to give you a big hug.
Most of all I do understand. I undersatnd this choice. I understand all the things you must feel about it. I understand if you feel like I am not being the best about all this. I am sorry. I feel your happiness and that is good. but is it okay if mine waits a little? I am happy that you are happy, I just need more convincing, but it's not about me. This is your choice and your life... and I know you can handle just about anything.
thanks for being the easiest and best friend I could ever ask for. Our perspectives may be quite different, and we may live far apart, but you are my heart in so many ways. PLease forgive me if I have not been what you have needed these last few weeks. Tell me what I can do. I can try to be there (literall, next Tuesday) , but it seems impossible and that makes me sick to my stomach. You said it was okay, but my heart wants to go. I feel so bad.
Anyway, thanks for everything this weekend. i hope you know you are my #1. I hope that you understand my reactions and thank you for accpeting me like a sister and letting me get away with the way we tell it to each other like it is, unless we really think it may be hurtful. I can't say this is going to be bad, I just can't say it's going to be good... and I think you deserve good. You know?
Your heart has learned a lot though, so maybe it knows better than anything. And no matter what happens, I am here and I love you unconditionally, and I always will!
posted by Knows It All @ 3:19 PM
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