Welcome Home KnowsItAll....

Family reunion. I suppose certain aspects repeat themselves at all family reunions. But my family reunion leaves me feeling like there is so much life to live. Life is anything you make of it.

Nana, my great gran was 90 this year. Walks, talks, and lives as if she were 70. She had a lot of children, and now she has 64 grandchildren and greats. 64 persons on this earth all trace back to this lady. She's amazing, strong, kind. Funny too. On her way to the site, she revealed to one of my cousing that the bridge they were crossing was the location of her loss of virginity. Poor old Katherine almost drove over the edge upon hearing that. Nana has survived a lot. She lost a husband and a son to suicide, and a daughter (my grandma) to cancer. I learned that it doesn't get any "easier" to lose a child just because you are old.

I learned that illness and challenge can unite and shape a family. Tracy had Hodgkins, and so now we have a bunch of marathon runners running to raise research money. Her sister has a career working for a charity supporting research. Tracy made it, and we are all blessed to have her here. She has a lot more to do here on Earth. I learned from her not to take a day for granted. Go to Canada and see your great-gran, because you can. She's alive and so are you. Make that matter.

I learned that even beautiful strong healthy women get their asses kicked by broken men. I learned that some of them graduate victimhood and make a new life. I learned that being a victim of sex molest does not have to be the end. Although some people suffer deeply and may take their own lives, something else grabs hold of others and guides them to a brighter day. The lesson is that family can make or break you. Thankfully we have both kinds.

I learned that family is family. Maybe you never met them. Just choose it. THey are blood, so love them and get to know them. They are Ranchers, Vegetarians, Hippies, Lawyers, Strippers and BookStore Owners. None better than the other. Just the same and different. United in genes, history, story and challenge.

I learned that cousins who dropped you on your head when you were a baby are relieved to hear you are a lawyer. Everyone is so proud you are a lawyer.

At a family reunion, you can learn about your mom, your grandma, and yourself. Maybe you never knew that mom was shipped away every summer since she was 2 to live with strangers. Maybe this is a factor in why she has trouble bonding? You can feel your heart break when all of Nana's kids give speeches, but your grandma's place is empty. She is not here, and it has never felt as vacant as it does here. You feel her absence more than ever. A look around reveals red and teary eyes on the faces of mom and sister and grandpa. United in loss. Together in smiling for her memory. Your heart breaks a bit more when he speaks and his voice cracks when he says that she would have really liked to be here.

You can see an old uncle dance a goofy jig and see your mom in him. You can sing Karaoke with your kid sister and be as happy as you have ever been. You can watch Nana finger the table as if she is playing piano when "All that Jazz" is playing. You can talk with your young cousin about the heartbreak of a mother who keeps marrying and marrying. You can sit with your Grandpa and listen to him sing the same silly songs he sang when you were 3. You can worry that your children won't have this since you are 31 and childless, and all indicators point to remaining that way.

It's so damn cool to meet people who are so like you, but you never met them. They laugh and hug like you do. And hang out with the lady who was the "Luwanna" to your grandma, her best friend through it all. That's awesome. It's knowing Lu would be at any family reunion with your own family. When Eleanor hugs, it's a hug from Grandma, and tears for us both.

Blessed I am. And I got to come home and dial up my dad and tell him I love him too. And go to bed in a safe place with my fiance. The old and the new. Loves. Family. Blessings. Count yours. And see it as Half Full, or what's point?