Keeping it together

Coming back to work is always hard after being away. I am trying to better this time.

So, last week, I flew home to be with mom for her breast cancer surgery. She opted to have a mastectomy with the full removal of her left breast. It was hard and I think we are all a little traumatized. In any case, the good news was that there was no cancer to be found in the lymphnodes. We will know more about her treatment plan tomorrow when she meets with some of her doctors.

Dad seemed relatively good. He is clearly using, but seemed stable enough. I didn’t spend much time there as I was trying to be with mom for the most part. It was really hard. I felt sick and nervous and on edge the entire time. It’s very hard to see my mom vulnerable like that. And I worry that Bren is worrying. In the end, it went really well and I am so lucky that I got to be there.

Anyway, I flew home Wednesday and left Thursday morning to go to DC with the DP Club. It was so out of control fun that I really needed. I learned that DC is really full of ugly people. Wow. That’s kind of mean, but it was really rare to see anyone attractive.

We ate a ton, drank way too much, danced our old asses all over town, and acted like fools. Scared some doctors, molested some youngsters, met a D_list celebrity, had wine at George Washington’s plantation, compared waxing experiences, and got thrown out of bars. In between the craziness, we talked and bonded and those girls helped me deal with so much. I’ve been in an emotional whirlwind and dealing with it in ....bad???.... ways.

Finally got to talk to Lu for a long time Sunday and she helped sort me out too. Goodness, I want to do the right things. But I feel crazy. I will be strong and good and keep my life in order. I will. Thanks for all your support and keeping me grounded and safe girls. You rule.