You gonna eat that?

Friday night, after work, me and J went on date-night. I was craving a Bloomin' Onion and so I requested OUtback and a movie. I compromised on the steak since Saturday was REAL date night, since we were going to a fabulous Steak house here in Phoenix for his birthday Saturday night.

I get there first since we were meeting, and get a table. Being happy hour for another 15 minutes, wine was two-for-one. So I ordered 4. Two for me, two for him. I also ordered the Bloomin'Onion. BY the time J arrived, I had devoured half of it and was surrounded by a lot of small wine glasses, but at least 3 of them were still full of wine. It was a long week, so I totally didn't care how it looked. He was amused.

So we had some dinner and our two glasses of wine each and we went to a movie. Two glasses of wine gets me a little goofy. He uses the restroom while I get in the candy line. We need some Junior Mints and a Soda. I didn't realize it, but I think I was standing way too close to the guy in front of me. I think I didn't want anyone to cut me or something.

I watch him order a large popcorn. THe acne-faced teenager with long hair goes to get it. I don't know if it is me, or the wine, or what, but it seemed like that kid was moving in slow motion. I am staring at him as he scoops up the popcorn. And then, swiftly, like lightening-fast, he pops a couple pieces of popcorn into his mouth, before bringing it back to the guy who just bought it.

Man: "Did you just eat some of my popcorn?"

Kid: "No."

Man: "I saw you eat some of my popcorn."

Kid: "I didn't."

Man: "I saw you reahc into this bag of popcorn and eat some. Look! You're still chewing it."

Kid, eyebrows raised: "I took this popcorn from the machine. I ate it out of the machine."

The man turns around to face those of us in line, but since I am so close to him, he crashes into me. He gets flustered. I stand there wide-eyed, and some stupid perma-grin on my face.

Man, to me: "Did you see that? He ate some of my popcorn."

I just nod like a moron.

The kid rolls his eyes.

Man: "Just get me a fresh bag. And don't touch it."

Kid complies.

As the man is paying, his date and J are both getting back to the line. The man tells his date that this is the weirdest movie theatre in the world. EVERYONE is freaking weird. I know he means me too. Yet, I can't get this stupid perma-grin off my face. J is staring at me like I am a freaking lunatic.

We get to the counter. The kid now finds me his confidante.

Kid: "I don't know why I did that."

Me: "What? Well, yeah, you probably shouldn't do that."

Kid: "Right on."

The rest of the transaction goes normally. The kid does what he needs to do, but he looks shamed the entire time.

When we get to our seats, I tell J the whole story. I think it's hilarious.

J then educates me.

"That kid is stoned out of his gourd, you can see it."

aha!


That doesn't explain me being a weirdo, but it does shed some light on the kid's behavior. What do you expect from a teen at the snack counter?