Sympathy for the Socially-Retarded?
There is no way to write this and not come off as an elitist snob. Apparently I am just irritable as of late by all these dork lawyers that surround me. But this rant is about Adult Dorks.
First, let me establish who I am not referring to those who are self-confident, who are not seeking to be the status quo. Those people are not dorks, as defined by me. Genuine and sincere people who are "no frills", not dorks. People who can be over-the-top and get a little silly, not dorks. Now, all of these people CAN be dorks but for other reasons.
They just don't get it. You are with a group of people, maybe having drinks or sushi, and enjoying the flow of conversation, and this person is dead-set on talking about something... that they want to dominate. THey interrupt, they try to argue. They can't just flow with the group. They want to control everyone's next move for the night, and either don't see the subtle hints of resistance, or just won't accept them. There's this guy, who is single, who is always doing this. He's really spoiled, and quite honestly no one wants him around. He seems always to be pouting, when no one even invited him to begin with. He pouts about the restaurant selection, the bar, etc. etc. But rather than gather some friends and go to his choices he tags along moaning and groaning. I really can't stand him, and I have tried since he is lonely, but it's so obvious why he is. I know I can be a know-it-all, but he is a million times worse! I never thought it was possible.
Lately, he's been catching on (after 4 years) that he is not the first choice of a lunch date. He has taken to showing up in peoples offices at 10 am, to pin them down to commit to lunch. He weasels himself in. "Made lunch plans yet?" If you say yes, "Ok, then tomorrow."
His latest act was he emailed a bunch of people with the announcement that he has tickets to a game, "Anyone interested in a pair of tickets to game, only catch is you and your date have to sit by me since I have three seats" Couldn't pay me.
Alright, now the female version. The one I am particularily perturbed by is an ex-coworker. Every flippin' time I see this chic, she does a breakdown of where and when I bought every item of clothing I am wearing, including my accessories and makeup. All she talks about is shopping. Literally. On those few times when I have tried to steer the conversation towards anything else, she totally ruins it by repeating anything you said totally inappropriately. Her best friend has an exceptionally annoying name along the lines of "Bambi" or "Fifi" or "Buffy" so she is forever droning on about, "when me and my friend "unnamed" went to the mall in St Louis..... and I were shopping in Tokyo........shopping shopping" This girl is such a bore. So no shock when once we were in my car returning from a work event, and she mentions the sale she is going to try and catch this weekend, and asks me what I am doing, and I replied that I was going to a bar-b-q. She says, "you know what is the oddest thing about Phoenix, no one has parties or get togethers. I have lived here for three years and haven't been to one" SHOCK. So the topper, and what set this email off, is that this week she sends a mass email about a night out she wants to happen.
"Since you all are too lazy to coordinate, I have organized a night out that I think we will all enjoy. There is a cowboy themed outdoor place that is a real hoot, and although we have to schlep a few miles to get there, you won't regret it. So bring anyone you want and call me when you know what time you are going and so I can meet you there". I can't do the pathetic begging justice. It's so sad. SHe has no clue that she bores the crap out of everyone, and me, feeling guilty that she will end up totally solo, has to be the one to go! I can't handle the thought of her hanging around alone. DAMMIT.
Why can't they just learn to pick up on social cues?! I mean, when people glaze over when you are rambling on, SHUT UP! Talk about the things they talk about once in a while. Listen to others, and be interested in them. People's patience wear thin and soon no one will care if you are all alone.
First, let me establish who I am not referring to those who are self-confident, who are not seeking to be the status quo. Those people are not dorks, as defined by me. Genuine and sincere people who are "no frills", not dorks. People who can be over-the-top and get a little silly, not dorks. Now, all of these people CAN be dorks but for other reasons.
They just don't get it. You are with a group of people, maybe having drinks or sushi, and enjoying the flow of conversation, and this person is dead-set on talking about something... that they want to dominate. THey interrupt, they try to argue. They can't just flow with the group. They want to control everyone's next move for the night, and either don't see the subtle hints of resistance, or just won't accept them. There's this guy, who is single, who is always doing this. He's really spoiled, and quite honestly no one wants him around. He seems always to be pouting, when no one even invited him to begin with. He pouts about the restaurant selection, the bar, etc. etc. But rather than gather some friends and go to his choices he tags along moaning and groaning. I really can't stand him, and I have tried since he is lonely, but it's so obvious why he is. I know I can be a know-it-all, but he is a million times worse! I never thought it was possible.
Lately, he's been catching on (after 4 years) that he is not the first choice of a lunch date. He has taken to showing up in peoples offices at 10 am, to pin them down to commit to lunch. He weasels himself in. "Made lunch plans yet?" If you say yes, "Ok, then tomorrow."
His latest act was he emailed a bunch of people with the announcement that he has tickets to a game, "Anyone interested in a pair of tickets to game, only catch is you and your date have to sit by me since I have three seats" Couldn't pay me.
Alright, now the female version. The one I am particularily perturbed by is an ex-coworker. Every flippin' time I see this chic, she does a breakdown of where and when I bought every item of clothing I am wearing, including my accessories and makeup. All she talks about is shopping. Literally. On those few times when I have tried to steer the conversation towards anything else, she totally ruins it by repeating anything you said totally inappropriately. Her best friend has an exceptionally annoying name along the lines of "Bambi" or "Fifi" or "Buffy" so she is forever droning on about, "when me and my friend "unnamed" went to the mall in St Louis..... and I were shopping in Tokyo........shopping shopping" This girl is such a bore. So no shock when once we were in my car returning from a work event, and she mentions the sale she is going to try and catch this weekend, and asks me what I am doing, and I replied that I was going to a bar-b-q. She says, "you know what is the oddest thing about Phoenix, no one has parties or get togethers. I have lived here for three years and haven't been to one" SHOCK. So the topper, and what set this email off, is that this week she sends a mass email about a night out she wants to happen.
"Since you all are too lazy to coordinate, I have organized a night out that I think we will all enjoy. There is a cowboy themed outdoor place that is a real hoot, and although we have to schlep a few miles to get there, you won't regret it. So bring anyone you want and call me when you know what time you are going and so I can meet you there". I can't do the pathetic begging justice. It's so sad. SHe has no clue that she bores the crap out of everyone, and me, feeling guilty that she will end up totally solo, has to be the one to go! I can't handle the thought of her hanging around alone. DAMMIT.
Why can't they just learn to pick up on social cues?! I mean, when people glaze over when you are rambling on, SHUT UP! Talk about the things they talk about once in a while. Listen to others, and be interested in them. People's patience wear thin and soon no one will care if you are all alone.
posted by Knows It All @ 5:48 AM
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