Couples Dating Couples

I'm perplexed.

If you are half of a couple, can you still have independent friends? I do. Always have. But some people don't do this and want to suck us in to their "couples" world. Lately, we've been approached by couples more and more to "get together", have dinner, travel, or some other social scene. And I'm not sure what to do with it. I like to be social. I love all my girlfriends to death, love all my guy friends to death, and I like hanging out with a few of their significant others, but by no means ALL. My fiance likes my friends, we have a lot of mutual friends, and he has a lot of his own friends. But I enjoy most of my friends MORE when my fiance is not around, or when my friends' partners are not around. And I am sure it is the same for him.

He and I do like to socialize together, but mostly in mixed groups of mutual friends and stuff. It's really rare where we enjoy ourselves in a setting with just one other couple. I can think of only one couple where we LIKE to hang with just them. And in that case, the guys have been independent friends for years and she and I have been as well. I've discovered a few themes of this couple dating motivations.

"When we got married, you and yours got a new best friend"
It is so weird when other couples want us all to be "friends". Like his best friend from childhood who recently married. Ok, she's really sweet and generous. But I don't have fun with her because she and I are in totally different mindsets. Our lives are totally different. The guys reminisce, and she and I politely talk about boring stuff. (Well, I'm bored). But they call a lot and invite us to weekend with them, or come to dinner. It's so sweet. But we have limited time for socializing, and I'd like to use it with people that I find FUN. I feel like a bitch for saying this, but I'm obnoxious and annoying, and she's pleasant and demure. It's weird.

"Can your fiance play with my husband please?"
Some of my friends are really just looking for play-dates for their friend-less husbands.

"If he's not with you, he must not love you"
And then there's the one girl I like a lot, but she absolutely refuses to spend any waking moment away from her man. So every possible time we hang out, she brings him and always seems mystified if mine is not around. WHen she asks where he is, and I say "at home", she sympathetically looks at me with sad eyes and asks "is everything okay?" As if, me meeting some friends for a beer without my fiance is a sign that the whole thing is broken. The possibility that he just doesn't enjoy your husbands company is not an option? Or that he just felt like chilling on the couch?

"If I don't sit right here, you'll steal him"
I'm pretty sure a few of these couples are a duo because they dont' trust each other. To the point that if one of them meets us, they are convinced that he or she will end their marriage and take off with one of us. Sad.

"Maybe we should all have a few bottles of wine and hot tub! Wink Wink"
One possibility that has not made an appearance yet is SWINGERS. At least that's funny and cool. I mean, I'm pretty sure they ain't getting any action with this couple, but it makes sense.

"Man, we just really like y'all!"
In some cases, there are just those couples where I, independently, really like both of them. And my fiance does too. So when we get together it's four people who like each other hanging out, not two couples.

Maybe this is all a part of my resistance to being identified as one half of one unit. I am ME, I just have a partner. he's my best friend, but I love the other relationships in my life too. I resist that they all have to blend. God help me if I have to "couple" for the rest of my life!