Non-sensical random thoughts

Sometimes I feel old, or afraid to get old. I can feel my breasts descending as I write this. But then, something will happen to remind me that I'm so young and have so much life ahead of me. Take today's lunch for example. Me and C were at my fave hummus haven, when the table next to us (all ladies in their 70s I'd guess) interrupted us. They were gabbing and chatting and sharing lipstick colors apparently when they they needed assistance. They couldn't read the make and model of the one they liked so much. OK, so they didn't ask me for help...they asked C, but I'm affiliating with her even though she's a couple of years younger...but whatever. Oh, and, the fact that I'm undoubtedly more blind than all of them...but the point of this little story is that they saw us as young. And they represent how much fun life is even down the road. I better be having some lunch with my girls decades from now, giggling and telling each other what's what.

Sometimes I feel bored, or what I think may actually be sad. I spend way too much time staring into space. But then I think that maybe what I am really experiencing is just the coming-down effects of all that caffeine I consume. I wish I was kidding. Someone wrote recently that only boring people get bored and that completely freaked me out. Holy Crap! Is that it? Am I just boring? Took me a whole 20 minutes to sort myself out on that. Duh. I'm so not boring. Crazy people are never boring.

Sometimes I feel like "woe-is-me" with my complicated and underappreciated job. Then I realize that I get paid more than enough to keep my stomach fed, my nails painted, and then some. I barely have a boss, I work in the field I know my heart wants me too, and I can make it what I want. I just have to choose how I view it. Right? Not to mention the bazillion other ways in which I am such a lucky human being. And then there is that man who makes me safe and SO happy. His name is El G. And he is the greatest thing ever...but he gets embarrassed at how much I talk about all the awesome things he does for me... so I won't. But sometimes, I just overflow with hearts for him. X's and O's all over the place.

Sometimes I feel grateful. But I should be more grateful more often. I have more than I deserve. Sigh.