Slapstick

Sometimes, I feel a lot of guilt over what amuses me. Slips and Falls, silly accidents, someone else stepping in Poo, all hilarious to me. I wonder what this means psychologically. Last night, I was watching SHAMELESS on BBC. A sick and twisted comedy about a seriously dysfunctional family with a lot of sex. So last nights episodes had a scene where the teenage son was so angry at his dad, justifiably, that he peed on his head from an upstairs window while dad wallowed from below. I was laughing so hard I cried. Fiance thinks me the weirdest thing.

We have had this discussion before, as to why I think abstract pain an suffering is so funny. And even some real. I can't get a handle on it. Maybe it is the Itchy and Scratcy Affect. I mean, old movies and cartoons involve slapstick humor. Metal safes falling from rooftops smashing coyotes and the like. I loved Home Alone.

In my real life, some things that were actually painful to close friends of mine should not have been hilarious to me, but they were. Years ago, my cousins, my best friend and myself were hanging out in my garage with a blowdart my dad had bought. A long tube that you load darts into and then use your breath to shoot the darts at the target. My cousin had shot all the darts, best friend was collecting them from the target, and there was one more, and somehow accidently he shot her with one. It struck her in the shoulder, and she let out a yelp. She then reached across her chest, grabbed the dart and yanked it out. It was a small dart... and left a tiny speck of blood. To me, I realize it hurt a bit, suspected it was not an accident, yet still laughed and laughed. The scene brings a smile to my lips even now..(Ace Ventura fell victim to this form of weapon in Ace Ventura II, and this was after I thought it funny, so clearly there is enough people out there who are sick and twisted just like me). But she was in pain and embarrassed, and I still thought it was funny and that is kind of disturbing.

More recently, a bunch of us were at Brewfest. A few beers in, I saw a lot of folding chairs. Something in me wanted someone to do that dance/theatre move and walk over it, where is slowly lowers to the ground. (a la Britney Spears in some video). I make the challenge. My friend's husband, a former skatebaorder, does it with ease. So my friend also accepts the challenge, having never tried before, and having drank no less than 5 or 6 beers. I offer to hold her hand. She steps up, places foot on top back of chair, and starts to push. Then I feel her hand shoot out fo mine, and next thing I know, the folding chair has folded itself up and found her on top, flat as a pancake. There was no over-the-top "ta-da" moment. Instead the sounds of metal crashing, and a big thud, immediately followed by a loud painful yelp. And then of course me cracking up!!! She was hurt too. ANd I egged her on. But it was so damn funny to me. I am a horrible person. I got ahold of myself long enough to ask her if she was okay. Tears were rolling down her cheeks and her husband was helping her walk. She just glared at me. I could not stop laughing. Pure Evil I am. She had a gigantic bruise across her backside for a week. But part of me was mostly amused by the fact that she took the challenge. Why did she never ask me to do it? I knew I couldn't do it, and never would have tried. But she's no idiot, so I expected she weighed the risk. Ah, I could go on. But in the end, it's a good laugh for me but a sore subject among me and her. I have so many issues.

I knew I had this crazy problem when I convinced a girl in the sixth grade that if you stapled your finger, the staple just wrapped around your finger like a ring. I stood there saying, "Seriously, just try it." She did. THere was a bit of blood and a scream. I don't think that's why I laughed. I think I just thought it was funny that she was such so gullible. Man, I have been living with this disorder a long time! :)

There are ways I get my twisted fix. Ace Ventura, Weekend at Bernies, JackAss: all media for my weakness. I love that on JackAss those guys would do painful stuff for fun. And they had a big audience. However, I have one disclaimer, there were plenty of scenes I did not watch as to intense, gross, or scary. But the regular old crashes and stuff, can't get enough. Another way I got my fix was I made this torture board at work. It's a board that lists all kinds of "instruments" and then a bunch of body parts. When I am angry, I tell people that I am sending them to the board to pick their punishment. I.E., Sledgehammer/Neck. Lawnmower/Toes. Icepick/Eyes. Ha ha ha!

My ex boyfriend inspired some of my best fantasies. I really hated him and wanted the worst things to happen to him. (but only in that cartoon way, where no one really gets hurt and they are fine a few minutes later). I wanted him steamrolled. I wanted him to be thrown off a cliff and land on a bunch of spikes. I wanted to twist up his guts with a huge fork ( kind of like spaghetti). I am cracking uo right now as I write this! What is wrong with me!!!!????
And for any of you who think I may be sadisitic, I assure you I am not. According to Encarta, sadistic is hurting others for sexual pleasure. I never actually inflict the pain, at best I lure them into hurting themselves. And it's not sexual pleasure...just good fun!

Just felt like sharing this. I gotta go. I have banana peels to plant around my house!