Creeps Be Gone

I was about to throw in the towel on today and escape to my bed, when I jumped around a few blogs. I found a post by some European (yes, I feel like grouping them all together for the purposes of this rant!) He was complaining about people always commenting that he is too quiet. His theory is that only stupid people babble, and thus since he is quiet, he is more intelligent. Fine. His opinion.

But let me tell you something. I HATE HATE HATE boring-ass people. And silent weirdos qualify. Not that I think they are all psycho killers, just creepy and boring. And unsettling. I can admit it.

My newbie (temp) drives me insane. He's quiet. But he's not just quiet, he's always wearing this frozen expression. It's like he's been botoxed into a simple stare. I HATE it. When I have to explain something to him, he just sits there and blank stares at me. Totally creeping me out. No smile, no nod, I haven't even been able to catch a blink. He's totally robot. With glasses and weirdo 80's hair with a wave in the front.

All that said, I thought I hated his silence, turns out it's better than when he talks. He has told a few ice-breaker stories, and all it has revealed it that he is a social retard. First story was a big lament about how people should know things like who gets buried "in state" and some other weird ass nonsense. Today though, he came back from lunch and appeared excited. (Bug-eyed and walking fast). He tells a story of how he filed a complaint about a road raging bus driver....but he told it in psuedo-babytalk! I kid you not. I could not handle it. What kind of creep babytalks?

He also only refers to me as "Boss". Good morning boss. WHatever you say boss. Leaving boss?

THe last most annoying thing he does is that he stands around and slowly goes through his judo moves, in super slow motion, while he is listinging in on other people's conversations. I realize that sounds a little funny, but I assure you, there is no other term but "creepy."

OK, so this rant was really about a creep and not just a quiet guy. But it was inspired by some obnoxious "silent type". His European-ness clearly not related. I have to concede that some of my most favorite people on this planet are really quiet, and today I would appreciate them. BUT, if you are going to be quiet, at least be interesting or funny when you do talk. I'm just all wound up by coming down from all my creeped-outedness of Newbie KungFu Dork.

Oh, I should mention that if anyone is interested, I do believe he is available. Any takers?